SELF PORTRAIT PROJECT, 2019

I took a self portrait on my phone each month during the year 2019. When I look at them all I see poised me (makes decisions quickly), fed up me, tired me, overjoyed me (having discovered unconditional love), lonely but put together me, silly me (optimistic), the me that keeps secrets (and cheats in games), the me that has nightmares, the me that wants to be alone (stifles crying, doesn’t choose), the me who wants things back to the way they were, and me today.

Some months are an honest reflection of me in that moment (April), some are a performance (January) and some are a lie (can you tell). In retrospect, I wonder how much of the me I am today was present in January, February, etc. or if all of those characters were aliens visiting for a time and have long since left on their way. I have a feeling this isn’t the case: I think- for the first year of my life- I’ve built upon myself each month. December is all the feeling, relationships and weight that came before it. Today, this thought weighs me down (overwhelming) but I have a feeling that someday it will set me free.

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